The Power of Stillness. And Clowns.
“…Face to face with my carnival of thoughts, dodging frighteningly made up clowns, decaying and toothless carnies, and garish carnival barkers of thoughts, all vying for my precious five minutes of attention…”
The word “busy” has come to permeate our culture, our lives, and I’ve been making concerted efforts to not just eliminate the actual word from my vocabulary but to actually change the mindset around this term. Used as an excuse, a reason, a justification, and sometimes as a quantitative or qualitative measure of our lives, the phrase “I’m soooooo/too busy” has become all too frequent on our tongues as an explanation of why we can’t do certain things in our lives; excercise, see friends, meditate. etc. My first efforts were to simply change the word from “Busy” to “Full”, feeling that word implied a more positive air of abundance rather than a harried, stressful existence. But, I realize that is somewhat of a white lie in itself, a facade really. My life IS full, it IS busy but not so much as I can weave a story of busy-ness. I DO have time to exercise, to read a fiction novel, do yoga, eat more healthily, and find a few moments for stillness and meditation. Those moments may not be as plentiful as Id like everyday, but they ARE there if I choose to recognize and use them wisely.
Precious Stillness
As I have filled my days with more and more tasks, errands, events and the responsibility of 3 jobs, I have neglected the essential need to have moments of stillness and meditation in my daily life. Dont get me wrong, I stop moving often. I sit in an ambulance for many hours every week, I lay on my couch when my days work finally comes to an end, I sit in front of this damn computer screen way too much. Even my runs which are usually my most loved “moving meditations” have become littered with a noisy mind and the feeling I could be doing something “more productive”. What I have neglected is using my precious “downtime” in a truly nurturing way, allowing my mind to calm, tuning into my breath and letting the “monkey mind” settle so that I can connect to my center, Spirit, the Earth and reconnect with the beauty of just Being. Oh, I pay for it. With increased anxiety, the constant nagging feeling that something needs to be done, restlessness, agitation, stagnation of the body and mind. It comes with a cost, but one that I know I have the power to change. So, here I am. Back again. And again. And yet again. Life is cyclical. And even the lessons we have learned before, sometimes need to be revisited in another context to cement them deeper into our being.
So, today I begin again with a commitment to 30 days of stillness/meditation. Ill be revisiting a lovely book I read many years ago that guides one simply through 30 days practice. If you’re interested in giving this a try, here is the book: The Power of Stillness by Tobin Blake. Easy read. Easy to follow. Bite size pieces (5 minutes a day to start…you can find 5 minutes in your “busy” life right?).
“The only thing you need to begin with, and to go on with , is commitment to regular practice.” – Doriel Hall
My first 3 days began with 5 minutes practice and each time I found myself right where I expected; face to face with my carnival of thoughts, dodging frighteningly made up clowns, decaying and toothless carnies, and garish carnival barkers of thoughts, all vying for my precious five minutes of attention. I did my best “bob and weave” using my in breath as the “bob” and my out breath as the “weave” along with each meditation focus that Blake provides. I dodged a few thought “clowns”, I was not as lucky with others but all in all I managed to make it out without losing myself in the house of mirrors. Ill chalk that up to success. Until tomorrows practice, I am grateful for this life, this day, this moment.
Namaste