HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE
So, it seems to me there are about 4 things that crush people at the Holidays, leaving them tired, stressed, and disappointed. Food/Drink, Family, Money, Overscheduling. Here’s my condensed take on how to mitigate these issues and have a happier, healthier Holiday Season. There are at least a dozen more suggestions I can think of but here is a start!
- Food/Drink: Eat what you want, Drink what you want. Have the thing you crave the most. First. And then choose healthy, lighter, smaller options after that. If I deny myself that pecan pie, or eggnog toddy, I find I will eat or drink more of everything else trying to avoid those two faves. So, just have the faves (in moderation, don’t eat the whole pie or have 5 toddies!) and then have the healthy choices.
- Family: I’ve learned I prefer to visit my family NOT at the Holidays. It’s just far less stressful in every way so makes for a much more relaxed environment and more enjoyable visit. But, if you don’t have that option my suggestions are to LET IT GO and GO WITH THE FLOW. Know what your triggers are (discussions on politics, unhealthy food, excessive gift giving, etc etc) and make a plan for how you will handle these (refer here for tips on how to handle tough situations).
IDEAS:
- Breathe, Smile and Nod, let it go.
- Don’t drink too much (alcohol makes us emotional, reactive and is a depressant).
- Default to the way you would behave (respect and politeness) as a guest in someones home (I mean, you still are, even though it’s family!)
- Stick to some of your “normal routine” from home (IE: go for a run, do yoga, read the paper, go out for a coffee etc) so you don’t feel completely discombobulated.
- Lastly, do some soul searching and decide if it’s the best decision to go home for the Holidays at all. You don’t have to. Even if your family guilts you into thinking you do (is that healthy?!). If you always feel worse after a visit, maybe it’s time to reevaluate visiting.
- Money: Oh boy. The Commercialism of the Holidays. Ill tell you what. I stopped getting gifts when I moved out of the house and I stopped getting checks just last year. And you know what? NONE of it offended me, angered me, made me sad, or feel like I was lacking something. The Spirit of the Holiday Season is (supposed to be) about Enjoying friends and family, Love, Generosity, Kindness and Gratitude. Not how much crap one can acquire that one probably does not need or want. If you feel obligated to give presents, make something. Or offer to watch someones kids/pets. Or take a friend to coffee and give them your undivided attention for an hour or two. Or donate time/money to charity in someone elses name. Sure, if you can AFFORD to give a gift that is heartfelt and you really, really WANT to share your generosity, then do it! But don’t create a years worth of debt sending gobs of toys, devices, sweaters, golf balls etc just because you feel you HAVE to. People will adjust. And maybe they will take your cue! Less time on gift hunting, more time on enjoying food, friends and family. Yay!
- Overscheduling: This one is pretty simple. It’s OKAY to say NO. No, I mean it. You CAN say No. If you don’t have the time/energy/money etc to attend yet another Holiday Party or join yet another Gift Exchange, DON’T! If people get offended, well, so be it. They will get over it and likely, the sun will rise the next morn. Express your thanks for the offer/invite and politely decline. No need to explain. Take care of yourself. A tattered, tired and depleted You is not what the world or your loved ones needs after all!
So, some of these may sound harsh, challenging or downright un-Holiday like! They are merely suggestions. Give them a try and you might find you make it through the Holiday Season still feeling energetic, abundant, and happy, ready to start a prosperous, debt- and guilt-free New Year, weighing the same amount you started;-)
Happy Holidays!
Lauri Glenn & Bodhi Therapeutics